Chapter 1 Pt. 1: Denial is A Bitch

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Chapter One: Denial Is A Bitch

Lelani wasn’t looking forward for the rest of the week. She glanced down at her planner and saw that she had two papers due Friday, a test on Thursday and still hadn’t prepared to started her new workout plan she made apart of her New Year’s resolution. The frustration began building inside her head. Setting her planner back on her desk, she grabbed her shower caddie and headed to the bathroom on her floor to shower.

She opened her door and filed down the hallway creeping silently past the other rooms on the floor. It was early and most of the students on the floor were still sleeping. Just as she as approached the entry way of the bathroom, she noticed the other 4nd floor Resident Advisor, Tayla Gibbons. She was standing at the coke machine at the end of the hall.

Tayla pulled the soda from the dispenser and turned to go back to her room. She twisted the cap and looked in Lelani’s direction. Lelani’s eyes bowed downward to avoid direct eye contact with Tayla. In their previous meeting, Tayla and Lelani were at the brink of blows after a glare became too long. Tayla misinterpreted as a challenge and threw Lelani some harsh words. So, to avoid escalating the current silence into an argument, this time destined not to be stopped by bystanders, Lelani played the passive role. Lelani continued to the bathroom, showered, and headed swiftly back to her room, in hopes not to run into Tayla for a second time.

After dressing and gathering up the books she would need for the day, Lelani proceeded downstairs to her car. Within a few minutes, she arrived at the School of Business building. She sat in her classes with constant interruptions from the other things going on in her mind. By noon, she was finished for the day.

Lunch in the student union didn’t seem interesting. Lelani knew it would be the same two groups, students who based their lives around school, or professors discussing each others research endeavors. So she decided to do something she didn’t usually do, have lunch at one of the popular restaurants frequented by other college students. She knew she was taking a risk, the risk of running into trouble, but Lelani grew bored of doing what she knew was best, staying far from others who could potentially cause her to lose focus.

When she arrived at the eatery, there were groups of all different types of students. The nerds sat at the tables with several books open scattered about. The frat boys and sorority girls piled themselves on top of one another resembling the “popular” tables of an upper-middle class high schools where everyone was matched up with a significant other. The “bohemian” students sat at an open patio smoking cigarettes and discussing the latest political issues. Lelani looked around and thought to herself about which group she fit into.

After a moment of unsuccessful contemplation, Lelani proceeded to the counter to purchase a meal. She settled on a club sandwich, bag of tortilla chips, and an iced tea, something not overly unhealthy as to stick to her “new diet.” She found a seat near the door, as she didn’t want to be noticed heavily by the other groups. Unfortunately, her efforts were short lived.

“Hello, again, cutie.”

Without looking up from her lunch, Lelani politely dismissed the voice as being just in her imagination. The stranger spoke again, awaking Lelani from the daydream.

“You’re Lelani, right?”

This time, Lelani took her time to observe the gentlemen, beginning her exploration at his shoes. He wore a clean, fresh pair of white sneakers, neatly pressed khakis, and a brown and white collared polo shirt. When she finally reached his face, she nearly choked on what she was chewing. It was Neo from the club two weeks earlier. The only difference in his appearance now, than from the club, was that he was much more attractive.

“I apologize. I was somewhere else.”

“Must have been a good place. I saw you come in. But I guess you didn‘t see me.”

“I wasn’t looking. Are you eating?”

“Just finished. You meeting someone?”

“No. I’m just having lunch by myself, as always.”

“Can I join you?”

“I thought you said you were done?”

“I am but I still would like to talk with you. If that’s ok?”

“Sure.”

Neo sat down in the chair across from Lelani. They spent the next hour and a half talking. Lelani grew infatuated with Neo, not only as a person but as someone she could potentially date. Neo mutually thought that Lelani was an intriguing young lady; one who could grace the pages of his wedding album.

Neo and Lelani made plans with each other for the evening hours. Neo suggested that they catch a movie. Lelani declined, as she thought that this meant that she would have to admit that she had made plans for an actual date. And a date was something that she wanted to steer far away from. She longed to spend more time with Neo but contemplated on the fact that spending more time with him would cause a conflict at her “trouble-free” semester.

Neo pursued the issue of seeing Lelani that evening. He appreciated the fact that Lelani had taken the time to even carry this conversation with him and he didn’t want their connection to end there. After she rejected his invitation to the movies, he amended it and asked if she wanted to come over and help him plan his son’s upcoming birthday party.

“Son? You have a son?”

“Yeah. He’s three. He’ll be four next week and I told his mother that I would throw the party this year.”

“Oh. Well, I wouldn’t know where to begin. I don’t have any kids.”

“No nieces or nephews either?”

“Not that I know about. Sorry.”

“Well, good then we’ll both be lost together. So are you up for it?”

“Sure, but lets make this clear. It’s not a date, ok?”

“Nope. Just two people planning a party.”

“Sure. Let me get your number so I can call you later and get directions."

“Cool.”

Lelani took his number and put it in the phonebook in her mobile phone. She finished her lunch and they went their separate ways. Lelani left the eatery not knowing what was in store for her that night. She didn’t want anything to get out of control and definitely didn’t need anything to start making waves in her life of calm waters. She headed back to her dorm room, still contemplating if she would even call Neo later.

It was six o’clock. After having lunch with Neo, Lelani held up in her room sleeping. She awoke to a loud knock at her door. She pushed herself up and walked across the small room to answer it. She grabbed the knob and flung the door open. On the doorway stood Mykell, holding a large pizza and a two-liter of soda. Mykell pushed her way into the room past Lelani.

Oblivious to why Mykell was there, Lelani spun around and threw a questionable look at Mykell. Mykell saw the ugly look and knew Lelani was confused. Before Lelani could go through her routine of 20 questions, Mykell began explaining for her unannounced visit.

“Look, I know I should have called first but I thought you’d be up here doing nothing so I brought pizza so we could talk.”

“Thanks but I have something else to do.”

“What else could you have to do?”

“I have plans, thank you.”

“Plans? No we don’t.”

“Not us. Me and someone else.”

“Who? Do I know him?”

“Why does it have to be a him?”

“Because you don’t hang out with any other chicks but me. Now who is he?”

“Damn, is it that obvious?”

“Yes. Now who is he?”

“Neo. You know the dude from Masquerade a couple weeks ago.”

“What! Lelani’s got a date!”

“It’s NOT a date! Just a friendly get- together.”

“Ok, whatever. So what are you going to be doing on this “not a date” get-together?”

“Planning a birthday party.”

“For me?! Oh how sweet! Thank you, girl. I didn’t even think you would remember my birthday.”

“Umm, yeah. I tried to keep it a secret but you caught me!”

“Ok. I want strippers, alright. I didn’t get anything real for my 21st birthday, so I want my 22nd to be nasty.”

“Maybe. I want the rest to be a surprise. Try not to think about it ok. And you have to act surprised, too.”

“Come on now. Hello? Theatre major.”

Mykell had no idea that the initial plans had not pertained to her at all. Ashamed, Lelani projected a fake smile and laugh. How could she had forgotten her closest friend’s birthday and then lie to her about planning a birthday party in her honor. Lelani figured she would, now, have to give Mykell the party she expected. But how? She didn’t have the money to throw Mykell’s birthday bash.

What made her even more worried was not the idea that Mykell expected a party but she insisted on helping Lelani get ready for her evening with Neo. Mykell had already begun looking through Lelani’s closet, searching for the right outfit. With a slice of pizza in one hand and a blue top in the other, Mykell turn to Lelani and sized the shirt up to her.

After 45 minutes of pulling clothes out, trying different outfits on and several attempts by Mykell to hike Lelani’s mini skirts up to almost nothing, Lelani finally was ready. Her final outfit consisted of a pair of khaki crop pants, a black shirt with the phrase “Big Things Come In Small Packages” written across the front, and some black and tan sneakers. Mykell smiled in approval. She packed up what was left of the pizza and headed back to her own apartment.

Lelani felt her stomach rumble as she picked up the phone to call Neo. She scrolled through the phonebook and found his name. After staring at it for a moment or two, she final got up the nerve and mashed the send key. The phone rang twice before a little boy’s voice answered. Lelani courteously asked for Neo then heard the phone drop and the little boy scream “Daddy!”. A few seconds passed before Neo picked up the phone.

“Hello? Neo speaking.”

“Hey, Neo, it’s Lelani.”

“I was wondering when you were going to call. So you ready to come by?”

Lelani apologized for not calling sooner. Neo assured her that he didn’t mind. He gave her directions to his apartment. Lelani hung up the phone and made the ten minute drive to his place. She pulled up next to a nice SUV parked in front. She assumed it must have been his, although the car parked on the opposite side of her wasn’t bad looking either.

As Lelani approached the door, she overheard an argument coming from within the apartment. The woman sounded upset and kept demanding money. Just as she lifted her arm to knock, the door flew open and before her stood a beautiful Spanish-looking girl. The look in her eyes projected hostility towards Lelani.

“And who are you, bitch?”

“Excuse me?”

“Who are you? And why are you here?”

“I must have the wrong apartment. I was looking for apartment three.”

“Lelani. Sorry about this. Rosaria was just leaving. Camden, hurry up. Mommy’s leaving you.”

“Neo, please don’t fucking forget. You know this is fucked up.”

“We’ll talk about this later, Rosaria. Bye. Papi loves you, Camden. See you next week, ok?”

Neo knelt down and gave Camden a long hug and kiss. Rosaria grabbed the little boy by the arm and nearly dragged him to the SUV. Neo apologized again for his ex’s attitude and invited Lelani inside.

His apartment’s décor was fabulous. A cream leather couch and loveseat set, glass dinette set, and a 64-inch television. Lelani was astonished at how neatly decorated Neo’s place was. It was like he had hired a professional. A bright smile ran across her face at the thought that she could be walking into something great.

Neo sat down on the couch and offered Lelani a seat. She sat down and placed her purse next to her feet on the floor. Neo quickly glared down at her bag.

“You know, they say it’s bad luck to put your purse on the floor.”

“Really? That’s probably were I go wrong. Thanks.”

“Just trying to keep the karma right.”

“Karma? You into all that shit?”

“My mom has dabbled in it and some of it rubbed off on me.”

“I can relate. My dad spoiled my mom and I intend to be just as spoiled when I get married.”

“Oh, really?”

Neo offered Lelani a drink. She declined. She wasn’t comfortable yet. Her eyes continued to wonder around the room. She noticed a few plaques on the wall, several basketball trophies, and what she assumed to be family photos decorating a glass shelving unit. Lelani curiously rose and walked over to the shelves and began admiring Neo’s accomplishments.

There were a few first place trophies from the late 90’s and pictures of Neo and Camden, some that looked recent, others from when Camden was a baby. She moved on to the wall next to the unit and scrutinized the plaques hung in a diamond. One commemorated Neo’s high school graduation, another his college graduation with a degree in physical therapy and rehabilitation treatment. The last two were Neo’s state certification and a membership to the society of sports medicine.

Lelani was impressed. Neo was successful and very accomplished. She knew now how he could afford to live in this nice apartment, have the wonderful furniture and look so good. Damn! What else could she ask for. Her attention shifted back to Neo sitting on the couch.

“So you’re a physical therapist?”

“Well, something like that. I’m a trainer for the Miami Heat.”

“Wow, really? I love the Heat. One day I’ll make it to one of their games.”

“I can get you tickets if you like.”

“What?!? That would make my day…no year!”

A bright smile ran across Lelani’s face. She could tell that Neo was a genuine person and was offering his best attitude towards life and the future. More thoughts of the future ran through her mind as she continued to admire his apartment. Unnoticing, the room grew silent. She snapped out of her daydreaming and turned back towards Neo.

“So are we going to start this planning?”

“Sure. But I have to be honest that’s not the real reason I invited you over.”

“Then why did you?”

“I just wanted to spend more time with you. I’m starting to dig you.”

“I told you that I can’t get involved with anyone right now. I‘m trying to focus on my education. Besides, you have a girlfriend.”

“Who Rosaria? She’s not my lady. That’s just my baby’s momma. We haven’t been together for almost a year.”

“So why did she have an attitude with me tonight?”

“Jealousy. She’s very bitter over the break up. And she hates to see me with anyone else.”

“But we’re not together.”

“She doesn’t know that. She just assumes that we are since you came over here.”

“Wow. She really needs to get it together..”

“That’s what I told her”

Neo and Lelani continued to carry conversation, not making an attempt to start on what they initially planned to discuss. They talked about everything. Lelani explained what happened in her first two years of college back home and why she was so adamant about not getting in a relationship. Neo painted a beautiful picture of where he wanted to be in the next five years. Both took interest in one another. They shared a few laughs and chatted about sports, particularly basketball, over Chinese take-out.

After a few hours had past, Lelani realized the time. It was getting late and she knew that she had to begin the next day early. Against her urges to stay, she gathered up her things and prepared to leave.

“Why are you leaving so soon?”

“Yeah. I have a lot to do tomorrow and I have to get up early.”

“Oh ok. Can we do this again? You know we never did get the chance to plan the party.”

“Sure. How about Friday night.”

“Alright, it’s a date.”

“No date, just getting together to plan, okay?”

“Wow, you sure are persistent about not “dating."

“What difference does it make? Ya know, don’t answer that. Friday?”

“Friday it is.”

Lelani rose from the couch and started towards the door. Neo followed behind her. As he reached around her waist to unlock and open the door, he slightly brushed his arm against her breast. The touch made her nipple stand, sending an erotic chill rippling through her body. Lelani took a deep breath to push back a moan that approached her lips.

Neo stood in the doorway face to face with Lelani. He looked down the few inches into her face. Her light brown eyes glistened, her cheekbones blushed beautifully, and her lips were shiny and plump. He smiled and ran his hand up her arm to her shoulder.

Lelani gazed at Neo’s towering body. It was strong but not overbearing. His cologne made her quiver with desire. She resisted the intense yearning to pull his body closer to hers, because she knew that it would only lead to something deeper. She looked up to meet his eyes.

She saw the smile on his face and felt his soft touch on her shoulder. He leaned in to give her kiss. Lelani took a step back to avoid feeling the lip contact. Neo stepped forward and advanced again. This time pushing her body against the door so she couldn’t escape. He took her bottom lip into his mouth and gently suckled it. Lelani felt paralyzed by his kiss. She got weak in the knees and virtually collapsed into his arms.

Neo caught her body and held it tightly while he proceeded to massage her tongue with his. He knew that she tried to withstand his charm but his force was entirely to powerful for her to continue. Lelani wrapped her arms around his masculine body. She ran her hands up his back and squeezed his shoulders. Neo moved his hands from her shoulders, down her waist, around to her booty, cupping it with both palms.

The heat rose between their bodies and the blood raced through their veins. Although she was enjoying the moment, Lelani knew that it had to end there. She pulled back from the kiss and pushed Neo’s body away.

“I can’t do this. I mean I want to but I can’t.”

“Why? I can tell you want to.”

“I’ve explained that already. Please…I…I…”

“You what? I know what you said before but can you honestly say you can still resist the temptation to pursue this?”

“I have to.”

Neo stepped back and gave Lelani space. He didn’t want to push the issue any further. Lelani took the space and exited out the door. She turned to say good-bye and walked out to her car. As she drove home, the kiss continually ran through her mind. She heard Neo’s voice echoing in her head.

She arrived at her dorm and collapsed on the bed. Without even undressing, she rolled over, hugged her pillow and closed her eyes. She waited an hour for the sleep to come over her body, but without any luck. She got up, frustrated, and grabbed her shower caddie and towel. A cold shower to calm her nerves and beat down the craving for sexual satisfaction would help her get to sleep faster…she hoped.